Strengthening Your Voice at Work: Why Speaking Up Is the Ultimate Leadership Skill for Assistants

Your voice is your power and now is the time to use it, says Bonnie Low-Kramen

If there is one truth I’ve learned in 15 years of teaching Assistants across 14 countries, it’s this: Speaking up at work remains one of the greatest professional challenges for Executive Assistants at all levels.This is not because they lack capability, insight, or motivation. Far from it. The real issue is that many workplaces, intentionally or not, have conditioned Assistants to stay quiet out of fear.

Fight the Fear

Assistants tell me they fear being labeled “difficult,” “ungrateful,” or “not a team player.” They fear retaliation. They fear jeopardizing their jobs if they speak up about money and other issues as well. And beneath all that sits a deeper, more painful fear: the fear that their voice doesn’t matter.It does. More than ever. Why? Because EAs know things and hear things that their leaders don’t5.

At a recent conference, a senior EA told the story that her well-known company offers mid-year discretionary bonuses for employees who consistently go above and beyond. This bonus is in addition to the end of year bonuses. The EA told us how she functioned as her executive’s right arm and held great responsibility as a strategic business partner. She felt frustrated that she had never been rewarded with a mid-year bonus – for 20 years. Finally, a month ago, she mustered up the courage to ask her executive about it. He said that he had “never thought about it” but agreed that she totally deserved a bonus. The EA realized that she could have asked years ago. At the same time, it is also true that a leader has a responsibility to have their EA’s back and reward them for a job well done.

Five Areas Where Silence is Hurting Assistants the Most

1. Asking for training budget

Professional development is essential for high performance at every level of your career, yet many Assistants hesitate to ask for it.

One Assistant shared that after a major reorganization, she found herself doing the work of three people. She knew she needed advanced Excel training to keep up, but every time she drafted the request, she froze. “I didn’t want to seem needy,” she told me. “Or worse, incompetent.” When she finally hit “Send” on the email, her executive replied within two minutes, “Of course. No brainer. Sign up today.”

This is a pattern I see globally: Assistants assume the answer will be “no,” so they never give leaders the opportunity to say yes. They wait, they fret, and they lose sleep. And then they ask and the answer is an enthusiastic “yes.”

Assistants must view training as a way to support their leaders and their companies. It is worth noting that the money is not coming out of the leader’s pocket, but the company’s. And, in the USA, it is a tax deductible expense.

2. Workplace bullying

Bullying remains one of the most underreported issues in our profession. Assistants often endure it in silence because the bully is frequently someone with influence – another Assistant, a manager, or even the executive they support.

One EA described a colleague who routinely belittled her in meetings, rolled her eyes, and “joked” about her mistakes. When I asked why she hadn’t reported it, she said, “I didn’t want to make trouble. And I thought maybe I was being too sensitive.”

This is what bullying does: it erodes confidence and distorts reality. Silence protects the bully and poisons the team. The data shows that the pain of bullying is as painful for the witnesses as it is for the targets.

3. Being overworked

Assistants are the shock absorbers of the workplace. When layoffs happen, workloads increase for EAs, and they absorb the impact. When teams shrink, they pick up the slack. When executives travel, they stretch themselves thin to keep everything moving. One Assistant told me she regularly worked 60-hour weeks but never spoke up because the official policy is to not work overtime. The reality is that she cannot get everything done during an 8-hour workday. “Everyone else is drowning too,” she said. “I don’t want to be the one who can’t handle it and disappoint my manager.”

But burnout is not a measure of loyalty. It is a warning sign, and silence accelerates the crash. Productivity, morale, and physical health plummet when EAs burn out.

4. Not getting feedback                                    

Most Assistants crave feedback, yet many executives only offer it when something goes wrong. This leaves Assistants guessing, worrying, and often assuming the worst. One EA told me she had supported her executive for two years without a single performance conversation. “We work remotely and we barely talk to one another. I figured no news was good news,” she said. “But I also felt invisible.” When she finally asked for feedback, her executive was surprised. “You’re doing great,” he said. “I thought you knew that.” No professional should have to guess whether they are succeeding.

5. Asking for a salary increase

Money is one of the most emotionally charged topics of all. A senior EA recently told me she hadn’t had a raise in three years. She kept waiting for the “right time.” The company was restructuring. Her executive was overwhelmed. She didn’t want to seem ungrateful. Finally, she gathered her courage and asked. Her executive looked stunned. “I had no idea,” he said. “Let’s fix this.” And they did. HR adjusted her salary within weeks. The EA is determined to not allow this situation to happen again. This story is not unusual. Leaders are not mind readers. Silence costs Assistants money, recognition, and sometimes their own sense of worth.

It’s time to strengthen your voice. Speaking up is worth the risk.

Speaking up is not easy for most of us. It never has been. However, silence is far more costly. The workplace is evolving, and Assistants deserve to be active participants in shaping that future, not silent observers.