Pepita Soler describes the steps to take on your emotional intelligence journey

Who could imagine what radical shifts and transformations the world would go through?  It seems as if we are living a surreal scenario where everything has changed in the way we live and work.  We have had to rapidly adapt, transform and create new ways to interact with ourselves and others in this new world.

Emotional intelligence has always been very important for the roles of connectors, facilitators, mediators and business partners that Executive Assistants play.  But in today’s world its importance has grown even more, and it is crucial for all the roles that you have at work and in life. 

Every human being is unique in the way they see the world, the way they deal with their emotions, the way they deal with challenges, transformations, relationships and especially the way they deal with themselves.  

So, the first major step in your emotional intelligence journey is to expand your self-awareness.  

How can we expand our self-awareness?  

Create powerful questions

Our knowing, thinking, reflecting, learning, deciding and connecting depends essentially on questions: the questions we ask ourselves and the questions we ask others. Thinking is a process of asking questions and answering them. 

It opens the doors of knowledge, learnings, gives us insights, it connects ourselves with our internal universe. 

It’s the act of marveling, curiosity, discovery, opening new ways of seeing and understanding ourselves and our life and it expands our horizons. 

  • What is my purpose?
  • What are my most important values?
  • What are my character strengths?
  • What is the best version of myself?
  • How do I want to be remembered?
  • What is my unique contribution?
  • What is my legacy?

The act of creating powerful questions influences results, in one way or another.

What is my purpose?  

This is one of the most powerful questions, as it can guide your life decisions, influence your attitudes toward people and life, shape your goals and offer you a sense of direction. It is your driver to achieve what matters most to you; it feeds your intrinsic motivation and creates a meaningful life.

Living in a new time, a new era, a new world, filled with big challenges, changes and uncertainties, makes us want to connect with our higher purpose, based on the human values that will inspire us to be a better version of ourselves and motivate us to leave our unique contribution, our legacy.

When we can connect with our virtues and character strengths and see and feel the greatness that already exists in our way of being, it gives us the possibility of dealing with obstacles in a more positive way, with resilience, learning with the crisis and coming back stronger.  

Integrating our purpose, values, character strengths, and a genuine desire to be the best version of ourselves opens our mind and heart to creating more healthy relationships with ourselves, our colleagues, leaders, friends, family, community. It motivates us to develop people skills, empathy, appreciation and allows us to embrace and celebrate diversity. 

The four fundamental aspects of emotional intelligence

Everything begins with the development of self-awareness and self-management. These are the aspects of intrapersonal intelligence. Knowing your internal universe, your values and character strengths motivates you to become a better version of yourself. 

The other aspects of people skills focus on interpersonal intelligence: social awareness and social abilities. These aspects focus on the creation of healthy relationships with respect, empathy and kindness, the practice of active listening and authentic communication, and expanding your circle of positive influence with the people that you interact with, your organization, family and community. 

Everything makes sense if you are genuinely authentic, as people know that they can trust you because you have integrity and congruence: you “walk your talk” and live in harmony with your deepest values and beliefs.  

Be yourselfeveryone else is already taken.

Oscar Wilde

To be authentic we must cultivate the sensibility and courage to be imperfect, vulnerable, accepting, loving, and to value ourselves. That way we can build high-trust relationships with ease, creating strong, honest and solid partnerships, in work and life. 

Living with appreciation, positivity and gratitude are essential practices that open paths for you to live a more meaningful life.  

If we practice appreciation, being able to identify and feel the amazing things of life, and practice gratitude for the good things that happen, it elevates our mental health.

Focusing on the positive, on the strengths, values and beauty of people, including yourself, unleashes more strength, creates synergy, happiness and balance.

The SPIRE Model

Let me share with you the SPIRE model created by Tal Ben-Shahar and Megan McDonough, founders of the Wholebeing Institute.

We need to continuously check the levels of the five important perspectives of our wellbeing (Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Relational and Emotional) to create good practice, action and rituals to embrace all the dimensions of our wellbeing and to live a meaningful life.  

Energy is life; it is our fuel that lights up our passion. We need to integrate the ingredients of vitality, excitement and curiosity to work and live with passion.  It gives us the focus, determination and courage to go beyond and connects us with our beauty and greatness. 

Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you.

Oprah Winfrey

We must fuel our fire without burning out. Let’s find positive practices to restore our energy and create a good balance of our mind, body, heart and spirit. 

In this new world, new era, new time, we must have the wisdom of emotional intelligence in our daily life, in our choices, in the way we connect with our purpose, values, character strengths, in the way we leave our contributions, in the way we seek to live the best version of ourselves and a meaningful life.

Beauty is being the best possible version of yourself, inside and out.

Audrey Hepburn
Pepita Soler is the Founder and President of Pepitas Secretaries Club, the largest educational club for Executive Assistants in Brazil and Latin America. Pepitas Secretaries Club has successfully delivered numerous training programs, innovation events, ... (Read More)

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