We need to see perfection as a horizon that we can see but accept that we will never reach, explains Cathy Harris
Reviewing our capabilities and embracing how good we are at what we do can be a defining factor in how we progress in our profession and self-development. Many Assistants believe they are perfect in everything they do and that they have reached the pinnacle of professionalism and skills within their roles. I can hear some of you saying, “No, I don’t,” and others saying, “Well yeah, I am freaking great at what I do,” but there are a few red flags we need to take note of in our pursuit of and claim to perfectionism.
The Pains of Perfectionism
Attempting to be perfect is a personal trait – one that will never in reality be achieved, simply because no one is perfect. I read somewhere that even though we as humans try hard to reach, for example, the speed of light, we will never be able to do that. Some scientists have only managed to get to 10% and realize that putting more effort into achieving this unrealistic perfection also means we put more energy into attempting this unrealistic pursuit.
We all attempt to be perfect, which is great, especially as an Assistant. We want to do everything 100% correctly, we want our outputs to be flawless, but the reality is that it is not possible. We need to see perfection as more of a goal, a horizon that we can see but accept that we will never reach, a standard to achieve and a goal all the same. This is good, but there are downsides to thinking or believing you have done a perfect job. For me, perfection means I have reached the ultimate goal, and whatever task I have accomplished simply cannot be done any better or be improved on. It can set us up for failure, too, and give us a false perception that we cannot progress or improve any further.
Managing Your Expectations
I have undertaken many vision board experiences with groups of Assistants, and many times, their expectations for life and work are, in general, not achievable. Not because they are unskilled or unwilling, but because they set unrealistic expectations not for themselves, but for others: spouses, children, friends, and those they work with. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but we must remember we are all individuals, each with our strengths and weaknesses, with our own opinions, cultures, and characteristics. Placing your perfectionism expectations onto those around you leads to fractured relationships, fear of criticism and failure, low EQ, and self-criticism. You may believe that this doesn’t sound like you, but ask a friend to give their honest input. My children are my best opinion-givers and always used to tell me they didn’t like helping me clean the house because my “standards” were too high for them! In my mind, they were just being lazy, but in their minds, I could be doing things more.
We have to be careful that in our pursuit of perfection, we do not become control freaks, where we feel we need to take control of everything and do everything ourselves as soon as possible and perfectly, where we think obsessively about things and at the same time, without even realizing it, seek attention and credit for our accomplishment of “perfection”. I know a few people like that, although I do believe in always giving credit where it is due.
You will find that “perfectionists” unwittingly always criticize others for not being as “perfect” or as smart, as quick, or as organized as they are. Are you relating this narrative to someone you know? Is this you? Have you been a victim of or a victor for your perfectionism?
Behavioral Communication
One of the cornerstones of being a successful administrative professional is communication, and here I am describing behavioral communication: how you talk to people, how you treat people, and how sometimes you believe you are just a confident person yet may come across as being self-righteous. In the quest for perfection, we need to recognize several admirable qualities associated with striving for perfection.
Attention to detail
Perfectionists often have a keen eye for detail, which can lead to high-quality work and thoroughness in completing tasks.
Strong work ethic
Their drive for excellence often translates into a strong work ethic, motivating them to put in the necessary time and effort to achieve their goals.
Goal-oriented mindset
Perfectionists tend to set high standards and ambitious goals, pushing themselves to reach their full potential and achieve significant accomplishments.
Commitment to improvement
They are usually not open to feedback but do continuously seek ways to improve their skills and performance.
Reliability
Due to their desire to meet high standards, perfectionists are often seen as reliable individuals who can be counted on to deliver quality results consistently.
Beware the Red Flags of Perfectionism
Fear of failure
Perfectionists often have an intense fear of making mistakes, which can lead to avoidance of tasks or procrastination. This fear can hinder personal and professional growth.
Unrealistic standards
Setting excessively high standards for oneself and others can create a constant sense of dissatisfaction. Perfectionists may struggle to appreciate their achievements because they focus on what they perceive as shortcomings.
Overly critical self-talk
Perfectionists tend to engage in self-criticism, which can damage self-esteem and lead to anxiety or depression. They may find it difficult to celebrate successes due to their focus on flaws.
Difficulty delegating
A perfectionist may struggle to delegate tasks to others, believing that no one else can meet their high standards. This can lead to burnout and increased stress as they take on too much responsibility.
Impaired relationships
The need for perfection can strain relationships, as perfectionists may impose their standards on others or become frustrated when others do not meet their expectations. This can lead to conflict and isolation.
The Power of Pragmatism
Being practical is a wonderful leadership trait that works well amongst great leaders who steer away from traditional, long-winded bureaucratic processes and direct their teams’ energies toward innovation, creativity, flexibility, and effectiveness. A people-focused leadership style that recognizes the need to get things done and accept responsibility, and that creates a working environment where we can learn from practical solutions from those who have been in the profession for a long time and also adapt to new concepts arising from the young, more tech-savvy minds amongst us.
Pragmatism is just another word for being practical. Let me give you an example. I know an Assistant who created an entire itinerary travel package for her executive, perfectly put together with travel documents, weather reports, biographies of every person he would be meeting with, etc., etc., etc. Her executive left the office to catch his flight, as she had done the right thing by ensuring he left the office on time and that his diary was not overwhelming on the day of his departure. Off he went, but without the well-constructed, well-documented travel pack. She was horrified, went into a deep depression (literally), and kept telling herself how stupid she was.
She sat remorsefully in her office waiting for that call to reprimand her, but it never came.
Now, I understand there are still those executives out there who want all that stuff and those who have still not adapted to the more tech-savvy approach to working with AI and digital solutions. I get that, but this is the opportunity as Assistants striving for perfection to step up in our profession, become more creative, adapt our enthusiasm and skills with a practical approach, stop spending so much energy and time on pursuing unrealistic perfection, and rather set goals that will help us develop, give us clarity, and provide us with a realistic direction. It is in our imperfection that we are made perfect.
Five Reasons Why Pragmatism Is More Achievable
Flexibility
Pragmatism allows for adaptability and responsiveness to changing circumstances, enabling us to adjust our methods and solutions as needed, while perfectionism often leads to rigidity and an inability to pivot when faced with challenges.
Focus
Pragmatism prioritizes achieving practical outcomes over striving for an unattainable ideal. This purposeful mindset encourages progress and productivity, whereas perfectionism can lead to paralysis by analysis and hinder timely decision-making.
Ongoing learning
A pragmatic approach embraces our human mistakes as opportunities for growth and learning. This fosters a culture of experimentation and innovation, while perfectionism can create a fear of failure that stifles your creativity and exploration.
Healthy perspective
Pragmatism promotes a balanced perspective, allowing us to set realistic goals and expectations. This can lead to lower stress levels and greater productivity and satisfaction, in contrast to the constant pressure perfectionists feel to meet their own high standards.
Teamwork makes the dream work
Pragmatism encourages open communication and collaboration, as it values diverse perspectives and practical solutions. Perfectionism, on the other hand, can create barriers to teamwork, as perfectionists may struggle to delegate tasks or accept input from others.
Where Perfection and Pragmatism Meet
Finding balance in everything is not always easy, especially if our character and nature are to be in pursuit of perfectionism, but we need to try to become more people-orientated and less self-absorbed in our idea of perfectionism. The perfectionist ideal can deplete our energy and efforts, limit our creative thinking, and take away our ability to collaborate in a kind and practical manner.
Here are my suggestions to find the balance between perfectionism and practicality:
Set realistic goals
Instead of aiming for perfection, establish achievable objectives that allow for flexibility. Break larger tasks into smaller, manageable steps to maintain focus and motivation.
Embrace imperfection
Yes, you read that correctly! Recognize that mistakes are a natural part of the learning process. Accepting that not everything needs to be perfect can reduce stress and encourage a more pragmatic approach to tasks.
Prioritize tasks
Determine which tasks truly require a high level of detail and which can be completed with a more practical mindset. Focus your perfectionist tendencies on areas that matter most while allowing for a more relaxed approach in less critical tasks.
Set time limits
Allocate specific time frames for completing tasks. This encourages you to work efficiently and prevents you from getting caught up in the pursuit of perfection and overthinking, and helps you to find a balance between quality and practicality.
Seek feedback
Share your work with others to gain perspective. Constructive criticism can help you identify areas where perfectionism may be unnecessary, allowing you to adjust your approach and embrace a more pragmatic mindset.
Conclusion
Pragmatism brings with it a healthy dose of collaboration and team effort, opening the opportunity to hear and listen to the ideas of others, share experiences, and look to do things more effectively and more efficiently with less stress. Believe me when I tell you that trying to be “perfect” is stressful! Pragmatic outcomes foster greater harmony among you, your loved ones, friends, and colleagues. While perfectionism fuels the quest for ultimate achievement, it is crucial to recognize that perfectionism embodies an ideal rather than a concrete reality.
