Unless we explore all the options that are available, how will we know what is the best thing for us? asks Rona Cant
It happened to me again just the other day. I had a problem with my mobile. Now before you say ‘Oh, please you must be able to work a mobile’, yes, I have been dealing with them since they were the size of bricks. But – and it is a big BUT – I will own to the fact that I am just not technically minded. Part of me says that this is because I would much prefer to talk to someone face to face, rather than emailing or phoning them. However, if I can take on the challenge of the Southern Ocean and all its idiosyncrasies then I must be able to cope with a mobile phone! I played around with it until I understood it – I had slayed the dragon. Onwards and upwards was my motto. Life was good – I was achieving.
Then from out of the blue my son had an opportunity to move with his family to the USA – not to another county, not to the continent, but “across the pond” – and it’s a big pond! Like any mother I want him to be happy and to follow his dreams – I just never thought that this was his dream.
Whether it is to do with personal relationships, our work life or our wildest dreams, we do not always share our aspirations and challenges with others. We tend to keep our innermost thoughts to ourselves. Is that because we don’t want others to crush our dreams? Is it because we are afraid others will be jealous of us? Or maybe they love us so much that they don’t want to lose us? Maybe my son knew that I would find it difficult – I think any mother would. We are like mother ducks; we want to keep our ducklings close, but at the same time we want them to live their own lives and to succeed – just how contrary can we be?
My son and I determined in our own way that we would make it work, so we make a point of communicating every week. We WhatsApp. I had no idea what that was when he suggested we should use it. Have I found it difficult? Have I become annoyed at the screen or computer? Yes, often, but I persevere. Do I miss him? Yes, it is very different being apart, but we make it work.
Sometimes when we worry about how things will affect us we can become selfish by not supporting others’ dreams and goals. Sometimes we are jealous that others have taken the step that we would really like to take, but we just can’t get ourselves to put our foot forward. We worry that it might be too difficult to take on a new position, activity or responsibility. But why? It is good to stretch ourselves, our bodies, our brains. Tackling something new and alien to us opens our minds to what we can achieve and where we can go in this phenomenal world – whether it is for work, relaxation or exploration.
When my children were starting to learn French, I popped them into the car, drove to a ferry port and we sailed across to France. It was the first time they had left the UK. Holidays had been mainly on one of the super beaches in Salcombe where you could see the other side of the estuary. We went up on deck. The look on my children’s faces when they could not see land! They realised there was a big wide world out there. Unless we explore all the options that are available, how are we going to know what is the best thing for us?
We are capable of far more than we think we are
Make it a habit to try something different; be it a route, restaurant, fashion. The first step is the hardest, but it opens our minds, bodies and soul to the fact that there are many ways of achieving our goals. Each time we try something new we grow; if we continue to do the same thing we vegetate.