Have you ever had that situation where you have to make the right decision? It can feel rather life or death in the moment and that, of course, makes it even harder.


That sticky stuck feeling, and the accompanying frustration, all lead to hours sitting before a list of ideas trying to discover the one and only right way for forward. It is especially frustrating if you are trying to make a right decision that encompasses making everyone else happy with it too.


Here’s the rub – there isn’t one. No one decision is the ‘right’ one, it is just a decision. You need to decide which one fits you best.


If you are waiting for the divine inspiration to decide which way is the best way forward then it could be a long wait. So what’s the alternative? Try your ideas on. We are complex human beings; we have many different aspects of ourselves. The times we are sitting there trying to think of the right way forward we are only using a very small percentage of our senses. If we get stuck in thinking our way through we will come up with rational reasons both for and against our idea. This is what our minds are for. That wonderful capacity of rational thought is really essential but, and it is a big but, it is not the only collector and assessor of information.


We all have an inbuilt emotional guidance system which, when listened to, will give us a huge amount of feedback about an idea. To put it simply, as you contemplate an idea if it gives you a feeling, a visceral good feeling, be it excitement, joy, enthusiasm or you simply jump out of your skin then you are getting a pretty strong guidance that it’s a good way forward. If however you get that sinking feeling in your gut, nervousness, a heavy, pushing the water up the hill feeling, than that too is a clear indication to think again. Think about it – our language even mirrors this – our intuition is not called our gut reaction for nothing.


Now I am not saying don’t use your mind, that would be silly, but do use all the aspects of yourself to get the biggest picture you can.


So how do you do this? This is where the trying on comes in. For example, if you have a few different ideas of what you might like to do if you were to change jobs, you need to move them out of the realm of ideas (out of the mind) and into your inner guidance (getting an idea of how they feel). Look at your options and start to flesh them out. You do this so you can feel how each one feels. Get informed about each idea. If it is moving into a new industry get all the information you can about that new area. What’s involved, the kind of people who are in that sector, what training you may need? Maybe shadow someone already doing the job to get an idea of what the day-to-day work looks like. There is nothing like getting a reality check and seeing if the reality fits the idea.


This the same in your personal life too. Whether it be big decisions like buying a house or deciding where to go on holiday. Always check in with how it feels inside of you and add that information to the mix.


See this as if you were going into a big department store to shop for an overcoat with all the choices available. You wouldn’t just go and buy the coat you thought would look the best. You’d try on all the ones that grabbed your attention. You’d feel how they fitted, how comfortable they were, whether they felt the quality that would last. You see how you felt wearing them. This feeling feedback is essential whether you’re buying a coat or making a tricky decision. Only once you have been through the trying on process can you truly make a decision – the decision that in that moment feels right for you.


And remember there is no such thing as a right decision – it is simply a decision towards the next one – because life is full of decisions. You can never know all the things that will come from a decision, but you can know how it makes you feel at that moment in time and in my experience I have only ever made bad decisions when I stopped listening to that inner feeling.


Happy shopping – my don’t you look good in that coat!

Jessica has been working as a coach for over 15 years and offers Life Guidance & Mentoring to people who are at a crossroads in life. She typically finds that for many having reached the success they have worked towards for many years there is a sense ... (Read More)

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