Will I get it wrong? Will I make a mess of it? asks Rona Cant
Those of you who know me will know that I am a technophobe. Crazy you say and I agree with you. I get exasperated with myself to the point of telling myself to snap out of it. I’ve been using computers for years and years. I am good at using them and provided I have been using the ‘programme’ on a regular basis I am very comfortable with it. If I haven’t used it for a while I am scared that I am going to ruin the set up that I have already put in place. I am scared that I am going to mess it up and not be able to get it back to the way it was. You have no idea how cross I get with myself, how I scold myself. But I still cannot force myself to ignore it and move on.
It is even more exasperating that I know I built my own website – I had a bit of help from my son but I did it. If you go to www.ronacant.com you will see that there are pages with sidebars, (yes, I did put those sidebars together all by myself) a menu – all the usual things you see on a website and I did it. So why when I am competent to do these things am I so afraid to deal with them now.
I appreciate that it took me some time to set it up but not as long as it took me to set up my blog. So why is this. I have had a lot of compliments about the website for which I am grateful. I do not like these “all bells and whistles” websites – I like something simple and straightforward that tells you what you want to know with a little bit of excitement here and there and without having to search around trying to find the right place. That is why you have the photos of me on ‘Test the Nation’ and ‘Ready, Steady, Cook’ – a little light relief from all the words. It’s worked well and I am grateful for the supportive comments I have received about it.
However, you will also see that there is a naughty blue line on the front page which has decided to abscond from it’s home and sit just where it should not be. So what about that then – how do I get it back in place? More importantly, how do I get it back in place without ruining the rest of the website?
If I am honest I haven’t ‘explored’ the how to part – why? You ask – because I am scared that I will mess it up and not be able to put it right again.
Did you notice that I mentioned my blog just then. ‘My blog’ please, honestly how can I call it ‘my blog’ when I have got one piece up and nothing else. How will I ever get an audience waiting with bated breath if I don’t write anything. A dear client suggested that I write a blog because of the way I talk and the way I write and she was very supportive. I love the idea but fear keeps stopping me, it gets in the way again. If only it would stop raising it’s head I might be alright.
However, there is one way that I can deal with this – this fear that I will get it wrong, that I will make a mess of it. This fear is based on nothing, why shouldn’t it work, why would it go wrong and if it did wouldn’t I learn something by putting it right? Why am I obsessed with the idea that it will not work? Have I tried and failed? No. So why don’t I try and see whether it works. If it does then I have learnt something and my confidence will grow but if I keep fighting shy of it I will never learn and will not progress.
Why sit frozen in fear when I could be celebrating the launch of my blog. Maybe I could be entertaining people, maybe acquiring new clients. Who knows what it might bring. Just do it Rona!