Feedback is a provocative term that inspires anxiety and uncertainty, but this doesn’t mean people don’t want it, explains Becky Westwood
Every organisation has goals, and achieving goals requires people performing at their best. The tool most often deployed to achieve this is feedback, and like any tool, its effectiveness is determined by the skill and experience of the person using it. Understanding more about feedback – pros and cons – is important if you want to get the most out of it, both as a receiver and as a provider.
Feedback has long been held up as the cure-all when it comes to maintaining or improving organisational performance. That’s why time, energy, and resources are invested into feedback processes, software, and training courses. However, it’s a word and a practice that often inspires anxiety, frustration, and confusion.
Off-Target Feedback
Instead of feedback being used effectively to highlight possibilities, in many teams it’s a practice that happens a few times a year and people try to ‘get through’ it as quickly as possible. This not only incurs a loss of investment, but more importantly leads to missed opportunities for people to grow and the organisation to perform sustainably.
Why does this happen?
When conducting the research for my book Can I Offer You Something?,I discovered that this is most often due to the reactions the word itself provokes and the ambiguity created when different things get packaged up as ‘feedback’.
Anxiety and Confusion
Reactions to the term ‘feedback’ can vary a great deal. Some people are excited, but a common response is anxiety. That’s because people’s fight, flight, freeze response kicks in. This sudden flood of chemicals stops people being present in the current conversation, instead looking for the quickest way to minimise or avoid the threat their system is perceiving – the anxiety of feedback. As a result, they try to rush through feedback conversations or avoid them altogether, and all of this leads to the whole thing feeling transactional.
Since the concept of feedback was first connected to people in the 1950s, it’s been through a myriad of developments in both name and approach. The word feedback has evolved into a catch-all term for directions, instructions, opinions, judgements, criticisms, praise, and more. It’s no wonder all this leads to confusion.
Poorly Executed Feedback
Working as an organisational psychologist, I have come across managers believing they are exchanging clear feedback when the opposite is true. For others, in an effort not to come across as micromanaging or too direct, their feedback can become diluted to such an extent that it’s unclear what they are truly asking someone to do with their comments. This can result in managers feeling irritated that things are not getting done or that they need to repeat meetings, or becoming concerned that their staff are focused on the wrong priorities.
Even if the feedback stems from frustration or a challenging work dynamic, it’s crucial to remain calm, professional, and focused on facts. Personal grievances or emotional tones can undermine the impact of the message. Keep the feedback objective and rooted in specific observations, rather than personal feelings or assumptions.
Individuals on the receiving end, too, can be left feeling frustrated: frustrated that expectations are not clear, that they get told too late when something critical to their career development needs to change or are told too few times, if at all, when they are doing a good job. All this can leave them feeling undervalued and demotivated.
In organisations where feedback is poorly managed, both provider and recipient can be left with the sense that feedback is being forced upon them or done to them.
A Different Way
Feedback is not something that comes naturally to everyone. The good news for providers and recipients of feedback is that there is another way: start sharing perspectives.
As I found out in my research, what most people want is a relational, not transactional, experience with feedback – a conversation, based on a relationship, that provides them with the clarity they need to perform, has a positive impact, and uses perspectives to leverage opportunities. This starts with leaving the word ‘feedback’ behind and becoming clear about what you are offering someone.
Here are 3 key steps that you might find helpful:
Your outcome
Start by defining the outcome you are intending to share. Is it something that the person must action, or are you simply sharing your experience of something that they can take or leave? Three of the most common outcomes that get muddled under the label of ‘feedback’ are when giving a direction, instruction, or perspective.
If you know you want someone to action your comments, it’s better for all involved if you can be clear about this upfront rather than try to nudge people there. By becoming more intentional and clearly defining your outcome, you will be able to choose the most effective approach for what you are giving, setting expectations clearly, minimising ambiguity, and saving yourself and others unhelpful stress and anxiety.
Your approach
Be explicit when what you are asking of someone has to be done but they can decide how it’s done, and when how something is done is crucial. For example, when compliance or safety regulations are involved – if the process or steps are not followed, there may be a detrimental consequence to the work, organisation, or individuals.
Convey how you see, hear, or experience things from your point of view, remembering that the person on the receiving end has the autonomy and choice of what to do with it. A perspective is neither true or false, right or wrong, but it may be useful to consider for the good of relationships, wellbeing, and performance.
The human in front of you
Once you are clear about your outcome and the approach you need to take to give you the best chance of achieving it, it’s time to think about the people in front of you. In my experience, people generally know how they best receive feedback and what their preferences are. But the vast majority have never shared their preferences with colleagues, and likewise, few have been asked about their preferences by someone else at work.
Giving Feedback to Your Executive
In most cases, feedback flows down from the top, but many organisations encourage feedback to go in the opposite direction. Providing feedback to an executive requires tact, professionalism, and careful thought. It can also be stressful, especially given the power dynamics and the high stakes of maintaining a professional relationship.
Executives often face immense pressure and have many competing priorities. Framing your feedback as a way to support their success and improve workflow rather than as a critique of their leadership can make it more palatable. Always use language that emphasises collaboration.
By understanding your executive’s style, staying objective, being solution-oriented, and framing feedback as part of a partnership, you can foster open communication and trust.
Your feedback can help both of you succeed in your shared goals. By aligning your feedback with their objectives, you’ll foster a more constructive conversation.
