Life is not a one-size-fits-all journey, explains Hiyam Abuguilah
In a world filled with advice on how to succeed, thrive, and live better, it’s tempting to follow in the footsteps of those who have “made it.” Countless self-help books, motivational speeches, and social media posts provide formulas for success, whether in business, relationships, or health. But the truth is, life is not a one-size-fits-all journey. What worked for one person may not necessarily work for you. Understanding this uniqueness is pivotal for personal growth and real life.
The Uniqueness of Individual Circumstances
Each person is shaped by a unique set of circumstances, including their upbringing, environment, health, and opportunities. Studies in psychology emphasize that individual differences significantly impact how people respond to life events and advice (Krohne, 2001). For instance, advice on achieving financial independence may be practical for someone with stable employment but unrealistic for someone facing unemployment or financial hardship.
Similarly, fitness advice often assumes that everyone has the same physical capabilities. A person recovering from a knee injury cannot be expected to perform the same workouts as a professional athlete. This illustrates the importance of adapting advice to one’s specific situation.
The Danger of Overgeneralized Advice
Many success stories are based on survivorship bias – the tendency to focus on successful individuals while ignoring those who followed the same path but failed (Taleb, 2007). For example, reading about a tech entrepreneur who dropped out of college and built a billion-dollar company might inspire others to do the same. However, countless other dropouts never achieve such success, but their stories often go untold.
Blindly following someone else’s experience can lead to frustration and disappointment when results don’t match expectations. This can also damage self-esteem, as people may blame themselves for not achieving similar outcomes.
Learning Versus Imitating
There is value in learning from others, but it’s essential to differentiate between learning and imitation. According to Bandura’s social learning theory, people learn by observing others. However, this learning process involves adapting observed behaviors to fit one’s circumstances, not merely copying them.
Successful individuals often share principles that guided their journeys, such as perseverance, adaptability, and resilience. These principles are more valuable than specific steps because they can be tailored to different situations.
Practical Tips for Applying Advice Wisely
1. Evaluate your situation
Before following any advice, assess whether it aligns with your current circumstances and goals.
2. Adapt, don’t adopt
Modify advice to fit your unique needs. If a fitness routine is too intense, find a gentler alternative that works for you.
3. Seek various perspectives
Don’t rely solely on one person’s experience. Explore multiple viewpoints to gain a well-rounded understanding.
4. Trust your sixth sense
You know your situation better than anyone else. Trust your instincts when deciding what advice to follow.
5. Focus on principles, not methods
Look for principles that can be applied universally rather than strict step-by-step instructions.
Conclusion
While it’s tempting to follow the paths of those who have succeeded, it’s important to remember that your journey is your own. Life is filled with variables that make each person’s experience unique. By learning from others without trying to live by their experiences, you can create a path that is authentic, fulfilling, and uniquely yours.
References
• “Albert Bandura’s Social Learning Theory.” https://www.simplypsychology.org/bandura.html
• Krohne, H. W. (2001). Stress and Coping Theories. https://poliklinika-harni.hr/images/uploads/440/teorije-nastanka-stresa.pdf
• Taleb, N. N. (2007). The Black Swan. Random House.
