Managing Stability When the World Feels Tough: Why EAs Don’t Need to Be Unshakeable to Do a Good Job

Nick Elston shares five practical tips to help you stay grounded when everything’s moving

Someone messaged me last week: “Nick, I’m holding it together at work but falling apart everywhere else. How long can I keep this up?”

The answer nobody wants to hear? You can’t. Not like this.

You’re absorbing stress from your executives, your organisation, your personal life, the news cycle – all of it. You’re managing restructures that might wipe out your own job. You’re staying professional while everything feels like it’s crumbling. And somehow, you’re meant to be everyone’s rock while nobody checks if you’re okay.

That’s not sustainable. And it was never the job.

Here’s what people don’t say out loud: you’re not supposed to be unshakeable. That’s a myth killing people quietly. And it needs to stop.

Stability isn’t about being unaffected. It’s about staying functional when you absolutely are affected. Big difference.

The Emotional Work Nobody Talks About

The EA role carries an emotional load most people don’t see. You’re reading minds before people even ask. Juggling 10 competing priorities. Keeping your face neutral when you’re personally drowning. Absorbing everyone’s stress while managing your own.

That’s not administrative work. That’s emotional work. And it’s draining.

Research shows EAs report higher emotional exhaustion than most other roles because you’re constantly regulating emotions under relentless pressure. But you’re so good at it that everyone thinks you’re fine.

You might not even notice how much it’s costing you until you hit the wall.

What’s Actually Going On

Let’s just say it. Constant restructures. Shaky economy. Complete chaos landing on the people actually keeping things running.

You’re managing stressed executives, dealing with budget cuts that hit your workload directly, watching people get made redundant while you pick up their work. And you’re doing this while maybe facing money worries, family stuff, or health problems yourself.

Nobody’s checking in because they think you’ve got it covered.

Here’s the thing: you don’t need to have it all sorted to do good work. You just need to keep functioning. That’s doable.

Warning Signs You’re Carrying Too Much

Overload sneaks up on you. Here’s what to watch for:

• You’re forgetting basic stuff. Double-booking. Missing details. Losing track of things that used to be automatic. Not incompetence – overload.
• Everything’s irritating you. Snapping at interruptions. Annoyed by tiny requests. That’s exhaustion talking.
• You’re dreading work. Sunday nights feel awful. Monday mornings feel impossible. That’s burnout tapping you on the shoulder.
• Your brain won’t shut up. Racing thoughts at night. Replaying conversations. Planning for disasters that probably won’t happen. Classic stress response.
• You’re knackered no matter what. Tired all the time. Headaches. Rubbish sleep. Your body’s waving a flag.

Seeing yourself here? You’re not broken. You’re human. And you need actual strategies that work right now.

The Lie That’s Wrecking You

Here’s the belief killing EAs: that being good at your job means nothing touches you.

That you need to absorb everything without feeling it. That being professional means being emotionally bulletproof. That if you’re affected, you’re not cut out for this.

Rubbish.

Being affected doesn’t make you weak. It makes you normal. And normal people do brilliant work while admitting things are hard.

You can be stressed and still excellent at your job. Anxious and still reliable. Struggling at home and still professional at work. These things exist together. Right now, they must.

The point isn’t becoming immune to pressure. It’s building resilience – being able to function even when you feel the hit. Resilience isn’t being unbreakable. It’s bending without snapping.

One Small Thing This Week

Don’t overhaul your life. Just do one thing that admits you’re human and what you’re carrying is heavy.

Take your actual lunch break tomorrow. Tell someone “I’m at capacity” when they ask for something non-urgent. Phone a friend who gets it. Or just say to yourself “This is hard and I’m doing my best.”

Do it. Not because it fixes everything, but because it reminds you that being good at your job doesn’t require being superhuman.