Lindsay Taylor shares the 3 Vs of communication, drawing on her recent travels for inspiration
Travel is one of my absolute passions, born out of my growing up in the Far East and being from a Forces family where we moved every three years. In this article, I’m drawing on some travel-inspired observations to share with you.
During my travels in Greece and a few days exploring the delights of Athens, I found myself in the Monastiraki Flea Market and paused to take the photo that accompanies this article. This got me thinking about how we can create the best engagement with someone by pausing what’s going on for you, inviting them to “take a seat,” sitting next to them, and practising whole-body listening.
Listening is the key to creating and maintaining rapport. It’s the foundation of that great working relationship with your executives and team.
Listening is a skill, and for many of us, it is a skill we can improve on.
The crème de la crème of listening involves listening with your whole body and then mirroring or matching the person to whom you are listening to create and maintain rapport.
Once we have great rapport with someone, we are then more easily able to influence or persuade them – with integrity, of course – so that we can achieve our goals and outcomes.
Let’s break down listening into the 3 Vs of communication – namely, verbal (the words and phrases used), vocal (how you use your vocal cords), and visual (what you see when communicating).
Verbal Clues
Listen with your ears to the verbal clues. We all prefer specific phrases or terminology and have favourite sayings. Notice what specific words and phrases the person you are listening to has used. Pick out phrases and words to repeat back when talking to them. Using the same “language” and words as the person you are listening to demonstrates your respect for what they are saying. This accounts for a lot in creating and maintaining great rapport.
The Vocal Element
Listen with your ears to the vocal element. Notice how someone is using their voice. What tone of voice are they using? What emphasis are they placing on words with the intonation of their voice? How fast or slow are they speaking? What volume are they using? What does this tell you?
Visual Clues
Listen with your eyes to the visual clues. We can assess a lot from noticing what is happening in a person’s body language, including their physiology (facial expressions), gestures, and movement. What can you see happening? Use this information to be curious about what is going on for that person; then mirror their visual clues to create true engagement.
Listening is about being “in the moment” to really hear what people are sharing with you. It’s also being perceptive and noticing what they aren’t saying to you!
I LOVE the saying “every person you meet knows something you don’t.”
A Hindi word I heard many times during my India travels was (phonetically sounding!) “teak-er,” normally repeated several times at the end of a sentence and meaning “(it’s) okay” or “(it’s) all right.” I learned the English phrase “tickety-boo,” meaning “in good order,” which is likely derived from the Hindi phrase adopted by the British Army of “tikai babu” (translated as “it’s all right, sir”).
It’s such a fun-sounding phrase that I’m sure it’s going to raise a smile or two if you use it. Have a think about what’s going on in your life that’s “tickety-boo” at the moment. Your challenge is to use that term in conversation at least once today and notice what reaction you get. Let’s see if they are really listening to you!
With trips planned to Croatia, Australia, and New Zealand, I’m excited by the prospect of more inspirational content to share with you.
