Your discretion, reliability, and understanding make you an ideal candidate for peer coaching, says Helen Monument
As an Executive Assistant, you are at the heart of the organization, which means you see and hear everything. People in your organization understand that you have a position of trust, so they know that you are discreet and reliable. They know that whatever they tell you won’t be discussed tomorrow by everyone in the coffee corner.
You may already be that shoulder to cry on or listening ear for other Assistants, who have found themselves in a situation at work that they can’t seem to get out of on their own. As a fellow Assistant, you understand their challenges; you may even have been in a similar situation, so you can help them find solutions.
If this is already happening to you it’s probably because you have one or more of the following traits:
- You want to help others
- You are approachable
- You are trustworthy
- You are non-judgemental
- You are experienced
- You are a role model
- You are a good listener
- You have compassion
- You have empathy
The environment for peer coaching is a level playing field. You are not the supervisor or line manager of the peer, so there’s less pressure and stress for your peer in your interactions. When you’re in the same role, you have a much better understanding of the challenges of the job and can empathize with them.
Any kind of coaching is all about transformation. The peer needs to explain exactly what the issue is and the coach listens, may ask questions, and may also challenge the thinking of the peer, but it’s never the job of the coach to tell someone else what to do or to solve their problems for them. They are the ones in the driving seat; you are simply sitting beside them with a theoretical road map that shows them the alternative routes they might take, with possible consequences of each route. So, you start by setting expectations and defining the problem by listening carefully and actively to their story.
During my own coaching & counselling training, I was introduced to the Egan Model. This is a framework, also known as the Skilled Helper Model, developed by Gerard Egan. It is used to help individuals solve problems and develop opportunities. The model is structured around three stages: Exploration, Understanding, and Action.
With practice, it can be a very effective guide to help you in the peer coaching process.
Stage 1: Help Your Peer to Tell Their Story
It’s all about listening and helping your peer so they can see themselves and their situation as it is. Asking open questions like “What troubles you?” or “How is the situation now?” allows you to understand the situation better. This may take more than one session, depending on how quickly it takes for the peer to open up, but by listening, asking open questions, reflecting and paraphrasing, you can help your peer expand and look for their blind spots, missed chances, or factors that have contributed to their issue. By reflecting, mirroring, and summarizing, you can discover what exactly the peer wants to focus on.
Stage 2: Help Your Peer Use Their Imagination to Explore Possibilities for a Better Situation
This stage is for exploration. This is an active stage where you help your peer to select realistic and challenging goals that will really make a difference and change the issue/problems identified in Stage 1. It also helps your peer to find motives that will help them to make their commitment to change.
Stage 3: Help Your Peer Develop a Concrete Plan of Possible Actions to Reach Their Goals
This stage is where the peer takes action; you help them to develop a concrete plan to reach their goals. It also helps the peer to develop and describe strategies that will work for them; you ask the peer what solutions they can come up with themselves, to allow them to find their own path. It’s not your role as a coach to give advice, to tell someone what they should do or how they should act. What you can do is help them by disclosing something about your own experiences in a similar situation at work. Stage 3 also includes an evaluation, with some easy measurements by which your peer can identify the results of their change.
Some peers may need more time for one or more of the phases. You may need to return to Stage 1 using more empathic listening or exploration to get to the root of the issue, but it should never be forced or contrived. A peer’s resistance to change may prove a challenge to themselves and to you, so you should use the model sensitively and flexibly, without trying to ‘fit’ the peer into the model. The objective is to guide the peer forward to a positive outcome of change.
As a peer coach, you support others to overcome their difficulties and to reach a successful outcome. This may be by a change in their behavior, or their perception of the situation. You support them to set goals backed up by actions that will help them to overcome whatever their problem or challenge may be.
How Can You Transition From That ‘Listening Ear’ to a Formal Peer Coach?
You cannot become a coach without training. There’s a huge difference between simply being someone to talk to and becoming a skilled helper. There are many skills and techniques that you need to learn and thoroughly practice as part of your training. Here are just some of them:
Formalizing Your Role as a Peer Coach
There may already be a peer coaching system within your organization. The first step would be to explore what you need to do to join that process and train to be a peer coach.
If such a system does not exist, talk to your executive and HR manager and suggest why it would be a good thing to have within your organization. By creating a peer coaching process, companies can tap into the wealth of knowledge that already exists amongst their staff. It drives performance, creating a more dynamic and collaborative work environment while reinforcing organizational values and culture through regular peer interactions and shared learning.
Some basic steps would be to:
- Develop a structured program with clear guidelines and objectives.
- Provide initial training for peer coaches to ensure they have the necessary skills.
- Pair employees based on complementary skills and development needs.
- Establish a system for regular feedback and continuous improvement of the program.
- Recognize and reward participation and success in peer coaching to encourage ongoing engagement.
A Word of Warning!
Peer coaching is beneficial to all concerned, but there are some pitfalls to be aware of:
Lack of boundaries
The lines between the professional and the personal relationship may get blurred, so it’s important to first establish guidelines regarding confidentiality and the scope of the coaching relationship.
Insufficient training
Peer coaches may not have the necessary skills to provide effective coaching, so comprehensive training in coaching techniques, communication skills and conflict resolution are essential.
Bias
Allowing personal bias or favouritism to influence the coaching process can undermine its effectiveness. Coaches should always strive to be objective and impartial, focusing on the peer’s needs and goals, not their personal preferences.
Ego
Make sure your motivation for coaching comes from an authentic place, from a desire to help people, not to make yourself look good. Providing advice or solutions because you think you ‘know better’ can be counterproductive and even harmful.
Unclear goals and expectations
Without them, the coaching process can become unfocussed and ineffective.
Resistance to feedback
Both the coach and the peer may resist giving or receiving constructive feedback. Create an open and supportive environment where feedback is seen as a tool for growth.
Burnout
If a peer coach takes on too much responsibility, it can lead to burnout. Set realistic expectations for the role and workload. Ensure a healthy work-life balance and seek support when needed.
What’s In It For You?
As a peer coach, you develop leadership and mentoring skills which prepare you for a future leadership role. You also build a stronger professional network. You increase your own visibility, gaining recognition as a trusted peer coach and a role model for others. You not only contribute to the growth and success of your peers, but you also embark on a journey of self-awareness, self-improvement and professional development while building stronger, trust-based relationships with your colleagues.
Nobody understands the role of the Assistant like another Assistant. If you are motivated to help other Assistants succeed, to give freely of your time and expertise, while developing a deeper understanding of and empathy for others by actively engaging in their development, then becoming a peer coach could be your next career development step.
