Joan Burge, pioneer of the administrative training industry, tells us why relationships matter and how to build and nourish yours
Key Takeaways
- Shift from networking to genuine connections.
- Overcome insecurity and step outside your comfort zone.
- Ask questions and show real curiosity.
- Spark connections with a smile and a simple hello.
Engage consistently both online and in person.
I believe people are our most important resource in the workplace. When I think back to my 20 years in the administrative profession, I know there is no way I could have accomplished what I did without the help of others. I needed people from various departments to help pull off last-minute projects, peers to share shortcuts during crunch time, and the cafeteria staff to expedite my executive’s lunch before a high-stakes meeting. I relied on couriers, drivers, florists, caterers, bankers, and even our company pilot. Those relationships weren’t just “nice to have,” they were essential to getting the job done well.
“The stronger your connections the more doors open for you”
The stronger your connections, the more doors open for you. Some may lead to immediate help. Others may quietly create opportunities months or even years down the line. For decades, we’ve used the word networking, but somewhere along the way, “networking” started to sound like a transactional, business-card-collecting activity. In 2018, I stopped using the term altogether. Instead, I talk about connecting. Connecting is about building genuine relationships and taking a sincere interest in other people –, not just their job titles, but their lives, priorities, and passions.
If you shift your mindset from “networking” to “connecting,” everything changes.
Is Your Mindset Holding You Back?
“You are someone others should meet. You are valuable and you have something to contribute. You could make a tremendous difference just by being friendly and meeting new people. At its very base, business is about connecting people.”
This excerpt from my book Who Took My Pen…Again? (written with Jasmine Freeman and Nancy Fraze) still rings true today. So why don’t more people put themselves out there? The biggest obstacle is insecurity. Too many people cling to what’s safe and familiar. How many of these sound familiar?
- Sitting with the same co-worker at every meeting
- Carpooling or travelling
- Arriving just in time for an event and avoiding small talk
- Spending your time at events glued to your phone
When you stay in your bubble, clinging to what is safe and comfortable, you miss opportunities to make friends, find jobs, and gain valuable information. It boils down to this: you are worth meeting. You have something vital and unique to share: your perspective. If you keep that to yourself, the world becomes a smaller, sadder place. Step out, share yourself, and let others get to know you.
Beyond Business Cards: How to Build True Connection
Here are some simple, high-impact ways to start building real connections:
Say hello!
You’d be surprised how many people pass each other without a word. Break the ice.
Smile
Your smile is an invitation for conversation. I’ve smiled at people in airports, in corporate hallways, even while ordering food – and it’s amazing how often it sparks a friendly exchange.
Ask questions
“How’s your day going?” or “What’s keeping you busy this week?” opens the door to conversation.
Offer sincere compliments
Watch for things people do well and acknowledge them. Say, “That color really looks great on you.” Tell a coworker, “I liked how you handled that situation.” Oor, “I admire the confidence you demonstrated in that meeting.”
These small gestures plant seeds that grow into meaningful relationships over time.
The Personal Touch
Some of the most memorable connections in my career began with a simple personal outreach. Once at a conference of 450 participants, one attendant made it a point to introduce herself to me. She shared her passion for the profession, and after the event, she sent a thoughtful handwritten note to follow up, offering to help our cause in any way she could, even for free. Since then, she has become a trusted ally, sharing ideas, recommending books, and inspiring me with her enthusiasm. That relationship wouldn’t exist if she hadn’t stepped forward and taken the first step
Your takeaway
Be intentional about introducing yourself. You never know where it might lead.
It’s All in the Follow-Up
Too often, people meet someone interesting and let the connection fade. Don’t let that happen. Whether it’s a colleague you met at a conference or someone you admire from afar, keep the relationship alive. Send a handwritten note, a quick personal email, or a LinkedIn message that references your conversation. Share an article you think they’d enjoy or congratulate them on a recent achievement. Small touches signal that you value the relationship, and people remember that.
Making the Most of Online Events
In today’s professional world, some of the best connections begin online. I’ve hosted dozens of live virtual courses, webinars, and online events, and I can tell you that active participation makes all the difference.
When you attend an online event:
Engage in the chat
Contribute ideas, ask thoughtful questions, and respond to others.
Follow up afterwards
Connect with attendees or the presenter on LinkedIn. Mention something specific from the session to spark conversation.
Be consistent
When you show up repeatedly in online spaces, people begin to recognize and remember you.
One participant attended my virtual sessions regularly and contributed great insights for years. Over time, I felt like I already knew her, so when she registered for our in-person conference, I couldn’t wait to meet her face-to-face. That’s the power of blending virtual and in-person connection.
Don’t Just Show Up, Be Present
Whether you’re meeting in person or online, the most valuable thing you can give someone is your undivided attention. That means:
- Putting your phone away
- Maintaining eye contact
- Listening to understand, not just to reply
True connection requires more than being in the same room. It requires being mentally and emotionally present, showing that you genuinely care, focusing on the other person, and making them feel important.
Your Challenge This Week
This week, I challenge you to take one intentional step to expand or strengthen your network. That might mean introducing yourself to someone new, being more engaged at your next meeting or event, sending a handwritten note, or reconnecting with a colleague you haven’t spoken to in months. Don’t think of it as “networking.” Think of it as connecting.
Be curious, be genuine, and be present, because the connections you nurture today could shape your opportunities for years to come.
